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Dedication
Introduction
You And This Book
Today’s Business Climate
Step One: Setting Your Goals
Test Your Business I.Q.
Chapter One. The History Of Business
The Very First Businesses
Did Dinosaurs Have Businesses?
Primitive Human Businesses
Business During The Middle Ages
The Birth Of The Helicopter: The Renaissance
The New World
The Rise Of The Modern Corporation
And So ...
Chapter Two. Getting A Job
Birth
Preschool
Elementary School
High School
College
Graduate School
Are There Jobs Available?
Lobster Repair: A Fast-Growing Field
Where Should You Begin Your Job Search?
Your Resume
Writing An Effective Letter That Will Get You A Job Interview
Whom You Should Send Your Letter To
How To Prepare For Your Job Interview
The Interview Process
Chapter Three. How To Do Your Job, Whatever It Is
Taking A Phone Message
The Corporate Meeting
How To Act In A Meeting
A Fun Thing To Do If Somebody Falls Asleep In A Meeting
How To Take Notes During A Meeting
Special Note Of Encouragement To Timid Housewives Who Have Been Thinking About Maybe Trying To Get Into The Business World But Are Worried That It Might Be Too Hard And They Might Not Be Qualified To Do Anything Except Make Tuna Casserole
Chapter Four. Stepping Over Your Co-Workers
Getting Promoted
Ethical Question: Do You Have To Be Scum To Get Ahead?
How To Act Like An Executive
Dealing With Your Subordinates
Test To Find Out If A Potential Employee Is The Kind Of Person Who Thinks Up Ideas
How To Fire People
How You Should Behave Around Other Executives
List Of Topics That Middle-Aged White Anglo-Saxon Males Talk To Each Other About When They’re Not Talking Business
Joining A Club
Computers In Business
Chapter Five. Business Communications
What Makes A Good Business Memo
Standard Format For The Business Memo
Standard Format To Use For Lengthy Reports To Insure That Nobody Reads Them
How To Write Letters
The Basic Rules Of Business Grammar
Common Grammar Questions
Making Speeches And Oral Presentations
Chapter Six. Giving Good Lunch
Examples Of Classy Restaurant Names
Examples Of Non-Classy Restaurant Names
Entertaining At Home
The Heimlich Maneuver
Heimlich-Maneuver Hockey
What To Do If A Client Or Business Associate Dies
Chapter Seven. How To Dress Exactly Like Everybody Else
How Men Should Dress
How Women Should Dress
Chapter Eight. Sales
Rule #1: Maintain Eye Contact With The Prospect At All Times No Matter What
Rule #2: Call The Prospect By His First Name A Lot, Because He Might Forget You’re Talking To Him
Rule #3: Learn To Read The Prospect’s “Body Language”
Rule #4: Get The Prospect Into A “Yes” Frame Of Mind
Rule #5: Ask For The Sale
Chapter Nine. How To Go Into Business For Yourself
Tax Implications Of Going Into Business For Yourself
Three Surefire Business Concepts
Chapter Ten. How Finance Works
Who Should Read This Chapter
How Corporate Finances Work
The Stock Market
Common Financial Questions
Afterword