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INCOMPLETE amp; UTTER HISTORY
AS TOLD TO TIM LIHOREAU
PAN BOOKS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
FOREWORD
INTRODUCTION
I
FRENCH WITHOUT EARS
CAT GUT YOUR TONGUE?
I
THAT'S MY GAL
LYRE, LYRE, PANTS ON FIRE
I
THE GUTI CALL
IF I HAD A HAMMURABI
SUMERIA 1, EGYPT 0
MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M A LESBIAN…
PLATONIC SOLFA
INSTRUMENTAL INSTITUTION
GETTING ORGANIZED
JC. AND I DON'T MEAN BACH
AMBROSE!
NON UNUS BOTULUS
I'D LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING… IN PERFECT MONODY
FROM 'STAFF' TO DISTAFF
THE FIRST MUSICAL JOKE (BUT NOT MOZART'S)
3. The one that can't be published.
SPIRES INSPIRE
1*
SUMER L'UV IN. ADME A BLAS
ARS IS NOT TO REASON WHY
FRANCO IN GENERAL
MACHAUT MUST GO ON
MASS HYSTERIA
THE FIRST RHYTHM METHOD
WHAT'S THE COUNTERPOINT?
REBIRTH
I
JOS YOU, JOS ME…
FILL THE SPACE
RENAISSANCE MAN
I
JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO, WILL AND TOM
PRESS ON
THE FIRST EVER OPERA (BUT ONE)
IF IT'S NOT BAROQUE…
GOODBYE, LOVE. HELLO, LUVVIES!
BATON CHARGE
LULLY. FALSY SENSY SECURITY
PASS THE PURCELL
I
J + 0 + H + A + N + N = 62' I
2 13 8 I
ANT AND HIS SISTERS
THE PACKAGE HOLIDAY
SO THE OLD ADAGIO GOES
DON'T FORGET NATHAN THE PROPHET!
TOCCATA AND FEUD
WAR AND PEACE MORE WAR
CRITICAL MASS
BAROQUE STARS
ARNE STORMING!
TIME OUT 1749
DANDY
BEANO
I
WHIZZER AND CHIPS
ORPHEUS IN HIS UNDERPANTS
YOUR NAME NOT BACH?
GOT ANY GOSSEC?
THE PRODIGY
HAYDN - ESTERHAZY DOING?
TAME TIME TEAM TOME
MOZART OF NOISE
SIGNIFICANT BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR
GOETHE HEAVEN
AMADEUS AND SO'S MY WIFE
JUST GONE HALF SIX
THE RATHER GORY
VIRTUOSO REALITY
BEETHOVEN READY
VAN THE MAN
I
DE DE DE DERRR
AFTER THE PREVIOUS NINE YEARS
SCHUBERT'S 8TH SYMPHO
A BOTTLE OF YOUR FINEST 1825
THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS THEN TOO
HIHO, ROSSINI… AWAY!
CH-CH-CH-CHANGES
THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT - ONLY NOT IN THAT ORDER
OPERA III - THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
FRENCH POLISH?
RPM'
BLACK AND WHITE RAGE
WELL, BERGAMO
BERLIOZ'S STRANGE RUN-IN
ANOTHER FINE MESSE
SPECIALIST SUBJECT 1837-1841: 'YOUR TIME STARTS NOW…'
A SERIOUS MATER
NEBUCHADNEZZAR OPUS
START
NATION SHALL SING A PIECE UNTO NATION
THE WHOLE WAGNER
THIS WHOLE WAGNER THING, ONLY A LITTLE BIT DEEPER
GOING DUTCH, MAN!
IT'S 1845: HERE IS THE NEWS
THE NAME'S WAGNER… RICHARD WAGNER!
1 1-1 =WO
LEIT MUSIC
ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?
RICHARD, THE GREAT, AND VIV THE REVOLUTION
EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT
JAKE AND ELWOOD. AND RICHARD
WOMEN ARE LIARS
EIGHT MINUTES TO SEVEN
JANUARY 19TH AND MARCH 6TH 1853
BRAHMS AND 'THE MAN'
TRISTAN SHOUT!
RECKANKREUZUNGS KLANGKEWERKZEUGE!
THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE SLEEPING GIANT
NIGHT ON A BALD MOUNTAIN
I
1
BRING ME THE HEAD OF PYOTR ILYICH TCHAIKOVSKY!
THE SEVENTIES FLARES AND FALLIBILITY
STEPHEN FRY'S
I V 1874
THE BIDET BELONGING TO GEORGE
COMPLETELY
Chapter 7, Verses 9-21. Out of print.©
SAX AND VIOLINS
THE DAVID HUGHES MEMORIAL PARAGRAPHS
MISS BRAHMS AND MISS OUT!
TWELVE MINUTES PAST SIX. TIME FOR AN OVERTURE
THE THING
THE BIZARRE AND CHARMING
RINGFLUENTIAL
4
TO TOBY!
THREE FAT LADIES. ER,
A QUICK CROSS-SECTION OF THE ROMANTIC TREE IN 1888
THE NAME'S CLASSICAL. NEO-CLASSICAL
THE SLEDGEHAMMER AND THE NUT
1893 IN THE STYLE OF THE
SEAL OF THE CENTURY
1 ACROSS: CONFUSING GAME IN MUSIC FROM 1899 (6)
0
PC WORLD
PARIS AND VIENNA -A TWO-CENTRE BREAK
A 'MUSIC IN FINLAND'?**?*?**?5???? PARAGRAPH
CHANGE THE WORLD,
SYMPHONY OF A THOUSAND DAYS
THE TIME OF THE KINGFISHER
CLICHE ALERT! CLICHE ALERT! CLICHE ALERT! CLICHE ALERT!
HEAR THE WORLD UNRAVEL
OH, WHAT A LOVELY…
SATIE TIME OUT
IF YOU WANT TO GET A THREE-CORNERED HEAD…
THE DARK SIDE OF THE TUNE
BLUE IS THE COLOUR…
I HAD THE SENSATION OF NOT BEING
TWENTIETH CENTURY ROCKS
RAVEL'S DENOUEMENT
FROM BEGGARS' OPERA TO COMMON MAN
RACH-ING IT IN
FRY'S TOURS: INAUGURAL JOURNEY
THE YOUNG ONES
I
WERE SOLD IN THE US ALONE. (5.3 BILLION!!!)
1981 - CLARKE, OF COURSE
CLASSICAL MUSIC? DISCUSS.' (NOT MORE THAN 500 WORDS.)
ALL MOD CONS
