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Introduction
by Todd Harra
PART I
First Calls and Removals
CHAPTER 1
The Scream
Contributed by an amateur boxer
CHAPTER 2
Lost in Translation
Contributed by a food bank volunteer
CHAPTER 3
Patch Out
Contributed by a tennis player
CHAPTER 4
The Fly Swatter Saga
Contributed by a fitness buff
CHAPTER 5
Business Hours
Contributed by an artistic gymnastics competitor
CHAPTER 6
Grandma Talk-Talk
Contributed by an entrepreneur
CHAPTER 7
A Case of Mistaken Identity
Contributed by a Red Sox fan
CHAPTER 8
Ousting the Coroner
Contributed by a college basketball fan
CHAPTER 9
Spare Donuts
Contributed by a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter
CHAPTER 10
Severe Clear
Contributed by a bicyclist
CHAPTER 11
Roadblock
Contributed by a retired infantry officer
CHAPTER 12
Human Wedge
Contributed by a shameless karaoke singer
PART II
Where Art Meets Science
CHAPTER 13
The Man Who Cheated Death
Contributed by a member of the Sunday Martini Club
CHAPTER 14
The Unwitting Smuggler
Contributed by a numismatist
CHAPTER 15
Men and Makeup
Contributed by a “Proud” undertaker
CHAPTER 16
A Solution for Sagging
Contributed by an Atlanta Falcons fan
CHAPTER 17
The Glass Eye and Other Expectations
Contributed by a Girl Scout Leader
CHAPTER 18
Tattoo You?
Contributed by a Rolling Stones fan
CHAPTER 19
Ever Seen a Dead Man Move?
Contributed by a sun worshiper/beach bum
PART III
Family Matters
CHAPTER 20
Lesson: Never Go to Bed Angry
Contributed by an urban spelunker
CHAPTER 21
Buried in the Nude
Contributed by a church choir member
CHAPTER 22
Walk the Walk
Contributed by a dog lover
CHAPTER 23 Death Knell of Jefferson and Adams
CHAPTER 24
The Killer Customer
Contributed by a scratch golfer
CHAPTER
25 The Comedian
Contributed by an open-mic night comedian
CHAPTER 26
Hearse of a Different Make
Contributed by a Eucharistic minister
CHAPTER 27
Shot-Putted Urn
Contributed by a muscle car restorer
CHAPTER 28
Last Wishes
Contributed by a website designer
PART IV
Wakes, Funerals, and Burials
CHAPTER 29
My Bar Story
Contributed by a part-time model
CHAPTER 30
The Dove
Contributed by an amateur surfer
CHAPTER 31
A Hug, a Hope
Contributed by a professional speaker
CHAPTER 32
Wake Combat
Contributed by a collegiate swimmer
CHAPTER 33
Lucky
Contributed by a Texas Hold ’Em player
CHAPTER 34
Believe in the Butterfly
Contributed by a Young Republican
CHAPTER 35
Continuum
Contributed by an actor
CHAPTER 36
The Prodigal Son
Contributed by a jazz pianist
CHAPTER 37
Duel at High Noon
Contributed by a guitarist
CHAPTER 38
Wives and Girlfriends
Contributed by a veteran
CHAPTER 39
The World Record Holder
Contributed by a volunteer in the Big Brother Program
CHAPTER 40
Third from Right
Contributed by a car enthusiast
PART V
In Our Private Lives
CHAPTER 41
Feathers and Fridges
Contributed by a community philanthropist
CHAPTER 42
Till Death
Contributed by a Harley rider
CHAPTER 43
Date Destination: “The Morgue”
Contributed by a paintballer
CHAPTER 44
Gobble Gobble
Contributed by a vintage LP collector
CHAPTER 45
The Tapestry of Life
Contributed by a homemaker
CHAPTER 46
The Gay Man in the Wine Bottle
Contributed by a vintner
CHAPTER 47
The First Date
Contributed by a writer
CHAPTER 48
Ironic Injustice
Contributed by a woodworker
CHAPTER 49
Windsor or Prince Albert?
Contributed by a club cricket player
CHAPTER 50
Thaleia
Contributed by a fisherman
Acknowledgments
In Loving Memory