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Kenneth McKenzie and Todd Harra
MORTUARY CONFIDENTIAL
Introduction
PART I
First Calls and Removals
CHAPTER 1
The Scream
CHAPTER 2
Lost in Translation
CHAPTER 3
Patch Out
CHAPTER 4
The Fly Swatter Saga
CHAPTER 5
Business Hours
CHAPTER 6
Grandma Talk-Talk
CHAPTER 7
A Case of Mistaken Identity
CHAPTER 8
Ousting the Coroner
CHAPTER 9
Spare Donuts
CHAPTER 10
Severe Clear
CHAPTER 11
Roadblock
CHAPTER 12
Human Wedge
PART II
Where Art Meets Science
CHAPTER 13
The Man Who Cheated Death
CHAPTER 14
The Unwitting Smuggler
CHAPTER 15
Men and Makeup
CHAPTER 16
A Solution for Sagging
CHAPTER 17
The Glass Eye and Other Expectations
CHAPTER 18
Tattoo You?
CHAPTER 19
Ever Seen a Dead Man Move?
PART III
Family Matters
CHAPTER 20
Lesson: Never Go to Bed Angry
CHAPTER 21
Buried in the Nude
CHAPTER 22
Walk the Walk
CHAPTER 23 Death Knell of Jefferson and Adams
CHAPTER 24
The Killer Customer
CHAPTER
25 The Comedian
CHAPTER 26
Hearse of a Different Make
CHAPTER 27
Shot-Putted Urn
CHAPTER 28
Last Wishes
PART IV
Wakes, Funerals, and Burials
CHAPTER 29
My Bar Story
CHAPTER 30
The Dove
CHAPTER 31
A Hug, a Hope
CHAPTER 32
Wake Combat
CHAPTER 33
Lucky
CHAPTER 34
Believe in the Butterfly
CHAPTER 35
Continuum
CHAPTER 36
The Prodigal Son
CHAPTER 37
Duel at High Noon
CHAPTER 38
Wives and Girlfriends
CHAPTER 39
The World Record Holder
CHAPTER 40
Third from Right
PART V
In Our Private Lives
CHAPTER 41
Feathers and Fridges
CHAPTER 42
Till Death
CHAPTER 43
Date Destination: “The Morgue”
CHAPTER 44
Gobble Gobble
CHAPTER 45
The Tapestry of Life
CHAPTER 46
The Gay Man in the Wine Bottle
CHAPTER 47
The First Date
CHAPTER 48
Ironic Injustice
CHAPTER 49
Windsor or Prince Albert?
CHAPTER 50
Thaleia
Acknowledgments
