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ISLAND OF THE SEQUINED LOVE NUN
CHRISTOPHER MOORE
PART ONE
The Phoenix
1
The Cannibal Tree
2
I Thought This Was a Nonsmoking Flight
3
And You Lost Your Frequent Flyer Miles
4
Pinnacle of the Pink Pyramid
5
Our Lady of the Fishnet Stockings
6
Who’s Flying This Life?
7
Travel Tips
8
The Humiliation of the Pilot As a Passenger
9
Cult of the Autopilot: A History Lesson
10
Coconut Telegraph
11
Paging the Goddess
12
Friendly Advice
13
Out of the Frying Pan
14
Espionage and Intrigue
15
The Navigator
16
And Now, the Weather Report
17
Foul-Weather Friend
18
Land Ho
19
Water, Water
20
Leadership’s a Bitch
21
How the Navigator Got from There to Here
22
Finding Spam
PART TWO
Island of the Shark People
23
Deus Ex Machina
24
Valhalla: From the Runyonese
25
We Ask the Gods for Answers and They Give us Questions
26
Swing Time
27
Girl Talk
28
Choose Your Own Nightmare
29
Safe in the Hands of Medicine
30
Fashion Statements
31
Revenge: Sweet and Low in Calories
32
The Missionary Position
33
Chasing the Scoop
34
Water Hazard
35
Free Press, My Ass
36
Return to the Sky
37
Bombs and Bribes
38
Native Customs
39
Showtime
40
Unfriendly Skies
41
What’s a Kidney?
PART THREE
Coconut Angel
42
Bedfellows
43
Boiling the Puppets
44
Revealed: The Perfect Couple
45
Confessions Over Tee
46
Beans and Succubus
47
Grand Theft Aircraft
48
Too Many Guns
49
The Bedside Manner of Cannibals
50
Don Quixote at the Miniature Golf Course
51
Where Losers Flourish
52
Don’t Know Much About History
53
How the Shark People Got Their Name
54
Selling Tucker
55
Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Computer
56
Escape
57
West with the Bat
58
Malink’s Song
59
Call in the Cavalry
60
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
61
Roundhouse Aloha
62
Like Clockwork Spies
63
No Frills
64
Deliverance
65
Down to the Promised Land
66
If They’d Only Had Her at the Alamo
67
The Cannibal Tree Revisited
Epilogue
Afterword and Acknowledgments
About the Author