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Warning:
Disclaimer
Important Safety Information
DR. OZZY’S MEDICINE CABINET
The Doctor Is In… sane
Introduction
A Note to All Patients
How to Cure (Almost) Anything
1
You’ll Never Be Ill Again… Probably
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Magic Medicine
CHAPTER NOTES: HOW TO CURE ANYTHING
Have a Fucking Egg
2
The Truth About Diet & Exercise
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Health Nut
CHAPTER NOTES: FITNESS METHODS
Pruning
3
Cleanliness Is Next to Ozzyness
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Being Beautiful
Family—The Other F-Word
4
You Love ’Em to Death, but They Drive You Fucking Mental
I: BASIC PARENTING
II: ADVANCED PARENTING
III: SIBLINGS
IV: SPOUSES & IN-LAWS
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Flesh & Blood
Surgery: Not Just for Professionals
5
If You Want Something Done… Do It Yourself
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Under the Knife
General Practise
6
Dr. Ozzy’s A-to-Z of Uncommon Complaints
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
F.
G.
H.
I.
J.
K.
L.
M.
N.
O.
P.
Q.
R.
S.
T.
U.
V.
W.
X.
Y.
Z.
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Doctor! Doctor!
Genetics Explained… Sort Of
7
Before Reading, Apply Ice-Pack to Brain
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Mutant Strains
CHAPTER NOTES: BLAME IT ON THE DNA
Friends & Arseholes
8
For People Who Aren’t People People
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Personal Skills
The Jelly Between Your Ears
9
It Ain’t Easy, Being Mental
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Grey Matter
Sex, Romance & Ballcare
10
Dr. Ozzy’s Guide to the Bats and the Bees
I: SEX
IV: ROMANCE
III: BALLCARE
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Sexy Beast
The Pharmacology Section
11
What They Don’t Print on the Label
I: UPPERS
II: DOWNERS
III: PYSCHADELICS
IV: EVERYTHING ELSE
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: High Expectations
Croaking It
12
Getting Ready for the Great Moshpit in the Sky
Dr. Ozzy’s Trivia Quiz: Meet the Worms
Dr. Ozzy’s Prescription Pad
Epilogue
Quiz Answers
MAGIC MEDICINE
HEALTH NUT
BEING BEAUTIFUL
FLESH & BLOOD
UNDER THE KNIFE
DOCTOR! DOCTOR!
MUTANT STRAINS
PERSONAL SKILLS
GREY MATTER
SEXY BEAST
HIGH EXPECTATIONS
MEET THE WORMS
How did you score?
(Hazardous) Contents
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