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Prologue
JANUARY 20
DAY ONE
TAD TAKES A LEAP
OGDEN GETS READY TO RUMBLE
TAD, MEET MR. DAWSEY
THE SITUATION ROOM
YOU SHOULDN’T HIT YOUR KIDS
THE MARGOMOBILE
LESS LETHAL
STIMULATING CONVERSATION
WHIPPED
GETTIN’ HIS DRINK ON
NOTHING IN THIS HAND
YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME
AUTOPSY NUMBER ONE
MEAN DRUNK
THE BACKYARD OF CHUY RODRIGUEZ
DAY TWO
FUN WITH SNOWMOBILES
MOTEL-ROOM COFFEE
THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY
WAKEY-WAKEY, HANDS OFF SNAKEY
ROOM SERVICE
DEEEEE-TROIT BASKET-BALLLL!
HELP IS ON THE WAY
VOICES
SIR DICK SICKLE
LAYIN’ DOWN THE LAW
BITCHES GET STITCHES
THAT CAN’T BE GOOD
DAY THREE
CRAWL
UNKIE DONNY DEPARTS
MALE BONDING STRATEGIES
UNKIE DONNY HAS HAD BETTER DAYS
THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK
GAYLORD GOES TO BED
DON’T CALL DR. CHENG
THE YOUTH OF A NATION
DRUNKEN CONVERSATION
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CRAWLERS
REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE
SENIOR PICTURES
CHEFFIE
THE SONOFABITCH
DAY FOUR
BIG SAMMY’S BAR
CHELSEA IN CHARGE
THE SHOOTER
UGLY BETTY
INTERFERENCE
DR. DAN COSTS AMOS TWENTY BUCKS
ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT’S ME CHELSEA
TEEN ANGST
MIXED MESSAGES
CHEFFIE’S OPEN DOOR
BETTY JEWELL’S FACE
SMOOCHIES!
DAY FIVE
THE INVASION
WAKE UP, MOMMY
THE NEED FOR SPEED
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DEATH OF A FRIEND
MR. BURKLE THE POSTMAN
APPLEBEE’S
OATMEAL
BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
BECK BECKETT, THIRD-GRADER
BETTY’S AUTOPSY
BURN, BURN, YES YA GONNA BURN (REDUX)
THE MAP
DAY SIX
INBRED TRAILER-TRASH HICKS WATCHING SPRINGER
ROADBLOCK
IMPROPER EQUIPMENT
IF IFS AND BUTS WERE CANDY AND NUTS
APB ON CLAN JEWELL
THE TOWER OF POWER
STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT…
STAREDOWN
DUSTIN GETS RELIGION
FACING HIS PAST
MURRAY AND VANESSA, BFF
BOXERCISE
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
WELCOME TO DETROIT
DAY SEVEN
LEAD FROM THE FRONT
DADDY IS SO SILLY
THE DOLLY MAMA
EYES ON THE PRIZE
PEEKABOO, WE SEE YOU
GENERAL CHARLIE OGDEN
McDONALD’S RUN
NO MEANS NO
TWO ALL-BEEF PATTIES
LIKE LEGOS
DAY EIGHT
ICE CREAM WITH A GOD
COPS, STARRING SANCHEZ AND RIDDER
PUTTIN’ ON HER WALKIN’ SHOES…
EXPENDABLE
MARGARET ARRIVES
CLIMER SPREADS THE FAITH
JOHN DOE
PERRY GETS HIS GUN
PERRY PULLS THE TRIGGER
DANDELIONS
OGDEN SEES TRAILERS
MACH 10
DAY NINE
MOVEMENT
THE REBOOT
PERRY HEARS AGAIN
CRAVING McDONALD’S
GO SOUTH, YOUNG MAN
MOMMY IS A BIG BABY
DOUBLE DOSE
THE CAVALRY
PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE
RIDE TO LIVE
PERRY MEETS CHELSEA
DEW’S SATPHONE
B61 MAKES BINGO
Acknowledgments
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