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e-book ver. 1.0
Copyright © 1979 by
Robert Anton Wilson
The Universe Next Door
•
The Trick Top Hat
•
The Homing Pigeons
to the real Miss Portinari
Preface to the 1988 edition
BOOK ONE
The Universe Next Door
PART ONE
PURITY OF ESSENCE
DON'T LOOK BACK
REGISTER CAPITALISTS, NOT GUNS
HONK IF YOU'RE ARMED
EAT THE RICH
HOBBYSHEET #4 in a series of 30. Collect 'em all!
A SIMPLE ATOMIC BOMB FOR
THE HOME CRAFTSMAN
ALTERNATIVE TEXTS
GALACTIC ARCHIVES:
ONE MONTH TO GO
One month to go to 1984.
AUFGEHOBEN
2 NEW PLANETS DISCOVERED
POE
THE HIDDEN VARIABLE
NO SALESPERSON MAY LEAVE THE FLOOR
WITHOUT THE AUTHORIZATION OF A SUPERIOR.
THE MGT.
NO SALESPERSON MAY LEAVE THE FLOOR
OR LOOK OUT THE DOOR WITHOUT THE AUTHORIZATION OF A SUPERIOR.
THE MGT.
EMPLOYEES MAY NOT EXCHANGE VACATION DAYS. -THE MGT.
EMPLOYEES MAY NOT PUNCH OTHER EMPLOYEES' TIME CARDS. ANY DEVIATION WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION. -THE MGT.
FILL OUT IN TRIPLICATE. KEEP ONE COPY, MAIL ONE COPY TO THE OFFICE AND SEND THE THIRD TO THE TRANSYLVANIA CONSULATE. -THE MGT. (THIS WAS USED AT A BLOOD BANK, OF COURSE.)
PEP
LOUSES IN THE SKIDROW DIMEHAUNTS
TO HAVE LOCKS ON THESE DOORS
LIVING IN A NOVEL
STARHAWK'S LIFE STUDY
LANDSLIDE
THE QUANTUM CONNECTION IS UNMITIGATED
DEMATERIALIZING GORILLAS
THE MAD FISHMONGER
ANOTHER CIA PLOT
A HIT ON THE HEAD
CLUES
THE ALTRUIST
TAKE WHAT THOU HAST
POE
COLLAPSE OF THE STATE VECTOR
PART ONE
THE UNIVERSE NEXT DOOR
TO CROSS AGAIN
MURPHY'S RELIGIOUS
THE FIRST FURBISH LOUSEWART
NOTHING
SEX, STATUS, SUCCESS
THE SECOND FURBISH LOUSEWART
MALLOY DON'T SING
IS VLAD A SYMBOL?
ULYSSES AT HOME
WHY?
SCHRODINGER THE MAN
TO CROSS AGAIN
LED, LED, LED
THE VALUE OF THE CONTENT
POLITICS OF THE IMPOSSIBLE
WE MIGHT WAKE UP
PARTNERS
INSIDE OUT
"A habit obscene and unsavory
Holds the Bishop of Boston in slavery.
'Midst hootings and howls-"
" 'Midst hootings and howls
He deflowers young owls,
Which he keeps in an underground aviary!"
GWB-666
MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY
founded 1692
EX IGNORANTIA AD SAPIENTAM
EX LUCE AD TENEBRAS
GORILLA THEATER
WHERE THE FUCK?
THE DISPOSSESSED
ANOTHER EIGENSTATE
THE ROOMS WERE TURNED INSIDE OUT
THE LOCK IS A HOLE
FUNNY VALENTINE
FIRST MAMMAL-ROBOT DYAD
SEXPOT WANTED
SURPRISE PARTY
CHEESE
A CARNIVAL OF LOONIES
THREE MINUTES, FORTY SECONDS
THE SEA! THE SEA!
THE DREADED NEUROLOGICAL ARMY
THE PIGEONS IN B. F. SKINNER'S
LABORATORIES ARE POLITICAL PRISONERS.
RELEASE THEM OR FURTHER ACTIONS WILL
FOLLOW.
EZRA POUND,
FOR THE DREADED NEUROLOGICAL ARMY (DNA)
BAD FOR BUSINESS
TOKE WITHOUT HASTE
BOOK ONE
The Trick Top Hat
PART ONE
STOIC AND CHRISTIAN EJACULATIONS
AD ASTRA
PRETTY LITTLE BIRDIES
Pretty little birdies
Picking in the turdies
"Pretty little birdies
Picking in the turdies!"
"He's a poet
Though his looks don't show it!"
AMERICAN HAIKU
"Pretty little boidies
Picking in the toidies!"
NO WIFE, NO HORSE, NO MUSTACHE
FOREVER
BUT QUEERER THAN WE CAN THINK.
ALIEN SIGNALS
DEFECTION
M.O.Q.
King Kong died for your sins.
Ezra Pound.
WASHY
NOVEMBER 30, 1983
HOMES ON LEGRANGE
A VISITOR FROM FAIRY LAND
SPOCK? SPOCK? SPOCK?
DECEMBER 23, 1983
HOW THE TERRAN PRIMATES WERE DOMESTICATED
AN APPROXIMATE SIMULATION OF INSANITY
DANCING PHOTONS
JUST LIKE METHOD ACTING
THE COPENHAGEN INTERPRETATION
THE CAT AND THE DOG
64 AMOEBAS
PETER PAN! CHILDHOOD! INNOCENCE!
THE RICH ECONOMY
SATIRE
STRANGE AEONS
That is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die
CONTRA NATURAM
INTERNATIONAL COCAINE INC.
INTERNATIONAL COCAINE IMPORTERS INC.
LIMA-SAN DIEGO-VANCOUVER
"THINGS GO BETTER WITH COKE"
DO NOT GO GENTLE
THE DARLING BUDS OF MAY
THE UNIVERSE DECIDES
HELL
WHITE LIGHT
RED EYE
THE FETUS PEOPLE
ROSENFELT HAS DESTROYED ME
JUMPED BY JESUS
FROM CALIGARI TO VLAD
THE RADICAL EPISTEMOLOGY
OF SMOKEY STOVER
IN THE CASTLE OF VLAD
CONTEMPORARIES OF VLAD
PATTERNS OF FASCIST ART
JACKIE DID IT!
I AWAIT HIS RETURN
I AM CONFUSED
ESCAPISM
THE HEAD REVOLUTION
GRAPEFRUIT THROUGH THE NIGHT
THERE IS NO GOVERNOR ANYWHERE
THE ORDEAL OF RHODA CHIEF
TRADE AIDS
TO CROSS AGAIN
THE GYPSY SWITCH
WISE GUYS AND NEBBISHES
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
BUMP IN THE NIGHT
THE EYE-ON-THE-PYRAMID
TRANSFORMATION
DAMNANT QUOD NON INTELLIGUNT
This is the dawning
of the Age of Bavaria
MASS LANDING
CROWN POINT
THE ELEPHANT
BOOK ONE
The Homing Pigeons
PART ONE
WHO'S ZELENKA?
THE UNIVERSE WILL SURPRISE US
FATALITY INC.
Muss S. Sine, President
S. Muss Sine, Vice President
THE MAD ARAB
REAL HOUSES, REAL OFFICES
FRANCIS DASHWOOD, M.D.
PRESIDENT
THE CONTINENTAL OP
THE WALKING GLITCH
GIVE ME A COOKIE
A COOKIE
YUMMY, THAT WAS GOOD. THANK YOU. BEGIN PROGRAMMING.
CRAZY, MAN. WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?
SCORED ANY GOOD GRASS LATELY?
THE MIND IS BUDDHA: THE MIND IS NOT BUDDHA
THE GOVERNMENT SUCKS
IT SURE DO
HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?
NO BLAME
THE GOATS MARCH
WHALEBURGER
THE INVISIBLE HAND SOCIETY
FALLING GIRDERS
SINCERITY IN SPELVINS
T.A.N.S.T.A.G.I.
The copper bosses killed you,
Joe I never died, said he
He's walking the fields where the Blessed live
He's gone from Memphis to Heeeeaav-en!
* * *
PART ONE
COMING TO A HEAD
WHAT-ME INFALLIBLE?
THIS IS AN ENTIRELY NEW KIND OF CHAIN LETTER!!!
PARAREALISME
THE OLD-TIME RELIGION
OVERALL THERE IS A SMELL OF FRIED ONIONS
PART ONE
FLOSSING
OCCULT TECHNOLOGY
THE BACHS' BOX
THE MAD FISHMONGER AGAIN
HONG KONG DONG
THE SYMPOSIUM
NO LIMITS ALLOWED
HYKH
CHAPEL PERILOUS
PRICE OF ADMISSION: YOUR MIND
S. MUSS SINE, PROPRIETOR
CLOSED FOR ALTERATIONS
FU MANCHU, PROPRIETOR
AMERICAN LIFE BOMB WENT AUTHORITARIAN
IN FRONTAL ATTACK ON AN ENGLISH AUTHOR
JEWES WE KILLE
TO SERVE GOD'S WILLE
HALL OF SELF-LOVE
THE AMERICAN DREAM ACHIEVED
DO WHAT THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE
LAW
YE POPE TO SHUNNE
A BATTLE WUNNE
FLOSSING
THE RETURN TO ITHACA
FLOSSING IS THE ANSWER
EZRA POUND
GLOSSARY:
A GUIDE FOR THE PERPLEXED
